Core Belief Profile 6

The Loyal Skeptic Elephant

Role Description

The Loyal Skeptic is a loyal person in that they see themselves as being loyal, dutiful and doing what he or she ought to do. They seek relationships with others or with organisations that can protect them and to which they can respond with loyalty and duty. The Loyal Skeptic focuses on gaining safety and avoiding harm through constant vigilance, questioning of motives and doubting.

The reason that they express loyalty and desire security is due to the assumption that the world is a perilous place and that you simply cannot trust other people. Therefore, the focus of attention is on danger and potential threats that require constant vigilance and scanning of the environment to avoid.

Loyal Skeptics try to obey the the internalised rule and principles that they have learned from childhood. They try to earn the security that they are seeking.

The Loyal Skeptic spends a considerable amount of time preparing for the worst possible disasters, often thinking ahead to the worst-case scenarios and anticipating them. The need for absolute certainty frequently leads to endless planning and considerable procrastination from them.

A Loyal Skeptic has a sense of being better than other people through their affiliations and social identification. For example, ‘I live in a metro city, and a metro cityis better than a rural town, therefore I am better than people in a rural town’.

Focus of attention:

• What could go wrong or be dangerous.

• Potential pitfalls, difficulties, incongruities.

• Implications, inferences, and hidden meanings.

Focus of energy:

• Doubting, testing and looking for double messages.

• Logical analysis to figure things out.

• Playing the devil’s advocate.

• Ambivalence towards authority.

• Showing strength.

• Gaining security by obtaining the goodwill of others, being loyal to others and dedicating themselves to worthy causes.

Focus of Avoidance

• Being helpless or not in control in the face of danger and harm.

• Succumbing to danger or harm.

• Getting stuck in doubt and contrary thinking.

• Alienating people they depend on by contradicting or opposing them.

Preferred communication style

• Likes to compare and contrast; analytical.

• Suspicious of the surface image, interested in the underlying content or meaning.

• Will look to find other person’s agenda. E.g. Are they being paid for that opinion? Are they angling for a promotion?

• Doesn’t want to be pushed; pacing is important; stops and starts are useful.

• Modelling is important; doesn’t want to immediately jump in.

• May challenge authority; either directly or by deliberately making mistakes out of spite.

Dos and Don'ts for this Core Belief Profile

Do

• Do keep your word. Nothing will help them more than their having a sense that you mean what you say, that you have integrity, and that you can be trusted.

• Do only commit to what you know you are capable of and then ensure that you keep all aspects of the commitment. They focus on explicit congruence between what you say and what you do.

• Do make your allegiance clear. In their unconscious mind, the world is clearly split between the good (us) and the bad (them).

• Do disclose your self-interest as they like to know what is in it for you.

• Do intersperse the positives with the negatives when you are communicating with them.

• Do restate reality. Be aware that you will need to assist a Loyal Skeptic’s memory and reality check.

• Do establish a clear plan with fall-back positions. The Loyal Skeptic does not like surprises. They want security and predictability.

• Be straightforward about admitting when you are in trouble. Loyal Skeptics understand trouble; after all, it is where they live.

• Do appreciate that they will question your intentions, and be suspicious when you show you care, wondering what it is that you really think.

• Do reassure the Loyal Skeptic that underneath all the dialogue, they can trust you.

Don't

• Don’t expect to immediately earn trust. It will take awhile for them to feel that they can trust you. Let them. It is very important to them to see that you keep all your agreements – particularly the small ones.

• Don’t engage in win-lose argument about something that they have their mind made up over. There is no way that you can change their opinion. It is better to expand the discussion to include alternate ideas.

• Don’t exaggerate. Just tell the story straight. They have a terrifying fear of (and are sensitive to) being conned in some way.

• Don’t order a Loyal Skeptic around. If you want a Loyal Skeptic to do something, share your thought processes and give reasons.

• Don’t rely on a Loyal Skeptic to be aware of the source of tension in the relationship. They constantly expect to be hurt as soon as they drop their guard.

Suggestions for Professional Development

• Practise having confidence in other people. When Loyal Skeptics look for ways to trust others, they will find them.

• You must find your inner sense of authority because otherwise you overly obey the internalised rules and principles learnt from childhood. Those rules give the security being sought because you cannot be blamed if you do as you were told.

• Don’t be afraid to play the role of devil’s advocate. After all, it is what you do best anyway. You have developed formidable skill at cutting through pretence and exposing what will not work. Show where the problems and pitfalls are.

• Learn to give compliments; Loyal Skeptics tend to have a problem with gratitude.

• Define your own positive goals and focus on them just as much as on where you can go wrong.

• To avoid laying blame, focus on the problem and not on the person.

Danger

• Anxiety.

• Doubt.