Core Belief Profile 8

The Boss Elephant

Role Description

Considered the ‘powerful person’ as they are personally assertive and seek to control their immediate environment.

Their view is that the strong survive and the weak do not. Their self-concept is that of a defender of the weak.

They focus on being strong and powerful in response to an unjust world. They do this through dominance of their personal space and of the people within this space. They use confrontations with others to establish the truth, and they focus on the weakness of others and their own strengths to control over their environment.

The basic assumption is that any weakness will be used to control them – just as they try to use the weaknesses of others to control them.

They are assertive because they seek to protect themselves and others to gain respect while also hiding any weakness or vulnerability that may lead to betrayal and injustice.

They desire intensity in all things. Moderation is death, and if something is good, then they can’t get enough. They crave satisfaction and when something desirable comes to mind, they are not particularly aware of the consequences of what they say or do. Once the goal is set, obstacles seem minimal and they want it in the most expedient way possible.

Intensity is created when they believe they are being taken advantage of. It also creates a sense of urgency, cleverness and strength of will.

They have different circles of people they can trust and love. To people within that circle they appear as great caring warriors who will do anything to protect the weak within the group. To those outside the circles, they can appear aggressive and abrasive.

Focus of attention:

• Power and control.

• Justice and injustice.

• Deceptions and manipulations.

• All or nothing polarities.

• Whatever demands action right now.

Focus of energy:

• Control and dominance of their space and of the people and things in their space.

• Taking direct action and facing conflict head-on.

• Protecting the weak and innocent.

• Gaining respect by being strong and just.

Focus of Avoidance

• Being weak, vulnerable, uncertain or dependant.

• Losing the regard of people they respect.

Preferred communication style

• Want to see the big picture and how the parts relate.

• Want a balance of theory and application.

• Want clarity, focus and a defined structure in establishing the learning environment.

• Want to move quickly to the substance of the material after a brief initial opening.

• Impatient with people who lose focus.

• Want energetic and lively learning situations; no tolerance for boredom.

• Doesn’t want to feel confined; likes to be able to get up and move around.

Dos and Don'ts for this Core Belief Profile

Do

• Ensure you always turn up when you are expected to.

• Articulate yourself confidently. Come straight to the point.

• Do give the Boss your respect. They want respect for being a substantial figure.

• Provide explanations for problems in black and white. They have little tolerance for subtlety.

• Realise that they will always prefer that you tell them straight away if they are making mistakes or making you mad. Don’t bottle up your feelings about a Boss.

• Expect everything to happen in excess. They have an all or nothing approach. It is either all work, where only work will be considered, or all play and absolutely nothing will get done.

• Do understand that they express their power through episodes of strict control followed by disobedience. They like to make the rules and and then break them to keep life interesting.

• Do appreciate that if the Boss feels that they have been betrayed then they will go out of their way to achieve a sense of revenge. This is particularly true if they have felt that they made themselves vulnerable in a relationship only to be betrayed.

• Do appreciate that they are a tower of strength in times of trouble, a formidable friend.

Don't

• Don’t try to control them.

• Don’t complain about the results. They do not want to hear excuses.

• Don’t blast them back if you get a verbal tongue lashing. Instead, acknowledge their power as well as reminding them of your own by respectfully standing your ground.

• Don’t let yourself have small oversights of things you’ve both agreed. This can seem like betrayals of trust.

Suggestions for Professional Development

• Check the details before you retaliate. Feeling taken advantage of is not the same as actually being taken advantage of.

• Choose your battles. Constantly ask yourself ‘is this fight worth it?’

• Before you attack someone, ask yourself whether you are willing to deal with the consequences.

• For many people your threats and tirades are not effective, no matter how much you may enjoy putting it on them.

• When giving instructions, be very specific about the behaviour that will satisfy your expectations.

• Find ways to use others’ talents and give them a sense of ownership and empowerment rather than just being a hired hand.